Wind. Cool and calm. Calm as in weird. Weird as in beautiful. Beautiful as in a dream.
Dream. Was this another one? Just like the one before… before the white mist swiped it away. As if it was never there at all?
Since when have I felt like this? The feeling of being trapped within myself. Is there something wrong with me? No, in my opinion. It doesn’t feel that way to me. It’s so calm. And at times, it’s damn too calm.
When was the last time that I felt this calm? I can’t remember. I think it’s been a while. But now I am bored. Maybe frustrated. Maybe angry. But nothing came out. Except for this damn calmness.
I should stop it. Maybe I have been sleeping for a while now. Time to wake up. Or is it??
Something is off for sure. My life seemed to be in limbo. And strangely I can’t feel myself. Why would that be so?
Is that a voice? Whose? What are they saying?
“Are you ready?” The voice was closer than I expected.
“Ready for what?” I asked back. Now this is funny.
“For your choice.”
“Mine? About what?”
“About what you want to do. Do you want to stay back? Or should we go on?”
Now this is damn confusing. What is this voice asking me about?
“I don’t understand. What do you mean? Who are you? And… where am I?”
“Who am I? That’s not relevant. And where you are… well that’s your choice. Again.”
“Choice!! Was this word always this confusing?” I muttered silently. I could hear a chuckle now. I glared at that side, only to see nothing; except that it was still too calm. Okay, no more calm… what the hell is going on here? I moved ahead. Well, I am walking now… still, I feel it all like a dream; as if walking through a mist.
Slowly now it’s clearing. And it took my breath away.
Green. So green ahead. It is only green all the way around and ahead of me. Tall and strong trees and lush green foliage. With the clouds touching them as gently as possible. Is this a dream again? Well, it was worth watching.
I walked ahead touching the green moss that was spread on the tree trunk. Occasionally, the tiny white daisies poke their heads out of the yellow blooms sprinkled along the forest path. The wind chirped around. I wonder if there are any animals over there. The birds are flying somewhere.
A beam of sunrays cleared through the leaves some time ahead, leaving tiny golden dust sprinkled in its path. It somehow danced in that glowing beam. Keeping my eyes closed and my arms spread… I took a deep breath and turned towards the source. This is what I call life. I don’t want this to end. I want to stay here forever…
“Is it so?” The voice returned.
“Why not?”
“Are you ready to stay here forever?” What about your way back home?”
Home… that reminds me of something vague. Yes, someone is waiting for me. I promised her to return soon. But…
“Time is running out… You will have to decide soon.”
I looked around. I wanted to stay… But…
It was my legs that took me to the point of making a decision. In front of me was a long bridge, hanging from unknown points. The wooden hanging bridge swayed a bit in the wind. A moment later it stood steady only to be swayed again. It looked scary.
“Scared?” The voice asked again.
I nodded at myself. What if I fall? I didn’t know how deep it was. “Will I fall?”
“That depends…”
“On what?”
The voice was smiling now. “Based on your choice.”
I sighed. “Is it that hard to give a yes or no reply?”
Now that voice chuckled again. “Wasn’t that always a difficult answer? Yes or no? Should I or shouldn’t I? Can I or not?”
“Yeah…”
I knew time was running out. I had to decide fast. Damn, this was tough. I tried to remember her face. Her smile. Her voice. I felt myself smiling.
“I think you have your answer now.”
I know it too. But still…
As I turned around, I took a good look at what I was leaving behind. It was painful for sure. I am going to miss this place and the feeling. But still…
Taking a deep breath and filling myself with the memory that may or may not stay with me, I decided to move ahead. But it was not so easy.
A step ahead… and I stood holding on to the feeble railings on both sides. The wooden bridge swayed with the wind and my weight, which I hadn’t felt for a while. I was not sure about taking another step. Let alone another step. It is even too scary for me to take a breath.
“Scared again?”
“I will fall.”
“Yes, you will.”
My attention was drawn back to the voice asking me a question.
“Well with that confidence you will fall for sure.”
I think I know it too. I waited to calm my nerves; not sure what was next. I looked ahead. The way ahead must be long and dangerous. To say that I’m scared would be an understatement.
What was that at the end? Didn’t I already know that?
My destination.
She stood waiting for me. She knew I wouldn’t give up on her. She trusted me. But do I trust myself? Maybe yes, maybe no.
But I have to keep my promise… at any cost.
The wind blew again. The way swayed again. The mist closed and cleared me at times.
I can see my destination and my destiny.
I could see the green patch I had stood on earlier fading back into memory… soon to disappear altogether.
Now I see her smile. Her fingers were eager to touch mine. And now she stands a breath away.
I can’t take my eyes off her face. She was smiling, her soul bared for me. I wanted to hold this moment forever.
But she raised her palm and covered my eyes. Why? I don’t want to close my eyes.
She might have felt my feelings. Now her breath was close to my nape. I could feel her smile.
“Wake up! It’s time…”
Her voice awakened my soul. Am I reborn? I want to see her again.
Another voice has just come to me. “We have a pulse… He is coming back…”
Yes, I am back… I am back home.
