I Love My Senpai

posted in: Short Story - English | 12

It all started on my first day at College. As college life is recognized as the most important part of our journey. Like most of the people I had my hopes high for a wonderful journey ahead with academics, new friends and probably a girlfriend too. And on the first day i had my introduction in front of my class and my professors as well. During the breaks, the boys started discussing about our class girls and their preferences, among that crowd there was one person who paid no heed to the boys talk, guess who?

It was me!! . When the boys tried to bring me into the conversation, I replied “I don’t believe in love at first sight ”, and I take relationships seriously. Then the bell rang, i could say i was saved by the bell. Then after a while we all settled down for the second half of classes. At the end of the class I was playing with my bike key, and suddenly it slipped out of my hand and fell from the third floor. I ran to pick it up, when I reached down someone was waiting for me with the key… Is this your key? 

I said yes, and there she was just like a Sakura petal(cherry blossom) looking elegant and very pretty. I couldn’t stop staring at her. She said “are you okay?, as I was staring at her for a while, I replied “ya ya am okay”, thanks .Then I took the key. 

That day I really wanted to know about her. A stream of thoughts kept coming in. 

The next day during the breaks i got to see her again, when i enquired i realized she was my Senpai(senior)…

My heart murmured “go introduce yourself” and on the other half my mind whispered “Don’t, you will be in trouble” and there i was in a dilemma. In the end I decided to go with the mind. After the breaks came the recruitment of new club members for various clubs. I was just thinking what club to join, then there came a club named Step-up and she was the one who was taking the names. And she was about to ask who all are.. ?(interested)

I jumped in excitement and raised my hand!! The whole class started laughing that before she completed the sentence I spouted my name. She smiled too, I was embarrassed but all that was running in my head was her smile. Considering all the circumstances that I kept meeting her I started to wonder is this fate? I kept aside this thought and was thinking how to introduce myself.

Then the next day, I got the perfect opportunity to introduce myself in the club orientation. She smiled at me when it was my turn, then I mustered up all the courage and went to talk to her. I introduced to her once again. And she introduced her. I wanted to get her WhatsApp number, but was too afraid to ask her. Luckily we had a club group and I got her number from the group.

After a week I texted her a “Hi” message. She replied “Hi who is this?”. I replied “the boy who jumped to give his name”, she realized and sent a smile emoji and said what’s up. I  came by to say hi. And that’s how we started talking.

Initially I started talking about my roles in the club, like I took up the role of organizing events. I used to ask her tips to give the best as an organizer. I also made sure that I talked with the other club members to avoid suspicions. She was the head of the dance group. I always try to come when she is practicing. Then one day one of my friends in the club asked “Do you like Senpai?”

I replied “I admire her the way she dances, because she works real hard to put up a show. The admiration comes as respect and nothing more.” He said come on bro, i think it’s more than that. While I tried to deny, He said you have a “Crush”. Since I couldn’t understand that feeling so i kept it aside until i knew her completely(Mind Thoughts).

I asked him to keep our talk a secret, he said okay. Later in the evening I said to Senpai your dance is awesome. She said thank you for always watching. I blushed and said, the way you dance makes me want to come and dance with you. She Smiled!!

Suddenly she grabbed my hand and played a song in the speaker and asked me to dance. I replied I don’t know anything about dance, then she taught me a few steps and we danced together. That evening was Magical, I wished it could go on. It was embarrassing though but it was fun. After the dance I thanked her for the opportunity and we left for our homes.  

While I was travelling back home I realized something, so i asked myself “Is this love?”

Right after that question I started thinking various other questions “if it is love what next?”

With all this I reached home with a smile. My parents asked me “Did something happen?”. I said No mom, nothing happened, but today was a good day. They said Okay. After the dinner I messaged Senpai  thanks for today. She sent a blushing emoji. Then we talked for a while and went to sleep, hoping to see each other the next day.

And day by day our conversation grew deeper, from friends we became best friends. We Started sharing a lot about us. We started meeting often. And my feelings grew stronger each time I saw her. The other day I was upset as I scored low marks in Mathematics-II internal exams. I always like to keep a good name, due to the low score people started talking which bothered me a lot. That day I turned off my phone and was analyzing how to handle the situation. Not just that, I thought if Senpai knew she wouldn’t talk to me anymore. Because I assumed girls like the one who studies well. The next day Senpai got angry and yelled at me that why I didn’t respond to the call and messages. I stated the reason, she said idiot!! 

If something is bothering you, why didn’t you approach me? I hesitantly replied coz you might not talk to me. She said “I like you the way you are!!”

That one statement made my day. That made me forget my worries. I was really curious what exactly she meant by like. I didn’t have the guts to ask if like means love or not, because one wrong move can destroy a relationship. I also thought even if I can’t propose to her it’s still okay because her presence is enough to make me happy.

I heard my friends say “Love is pain”, because of which grades go down, you start losing yourself. But in my case I was feeling as if I had wings and I was flying in the sky. Seeing her smile, talking to her made me very happy. 

Don’t you think that my story is moving in a happy line?, I thought the same. The happy line didn’t last too long. Once I moved to my second year and Senpai to the next year. The problems also started. I started noticing more boys around her, she was talking close with them. This all made me jealous and angry too. Somewhere in my mind there was a feeling that she was my love. But you can also say that I never proposed to her and I don’t have an authority to claim her. True, I agree. So I tried to avoid the thought as much as possible. 

The next day was the club meeting, we were about to host the Annual day function at College. So the plans for the meeting will be discussed. I got caught up in the staff room and was late for the meeting and asked my friend to brief me the details. Later after discussing the details, I gave my name for the event organizing role. Right after that my friend called me and asked, bro are you okay with this? I told him yea i am okay with this role. 

He said not that!! Am talking about Senpai, and he asked me to look over there. And she was talking with someone again. I controlled my emotions, later she noticed my presence and called me. Where were you? And she introduced me to some guy and said this is our new member. I said nice to meet you and she introduced me as her best- friend. Then the guy said so for more information about Senpai, i can count on you right!! With Hesitation i said ya sure. 

After i heard that, i was at my limit so i just walked away without a word. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I told the club president I have important work in the staffroom and left the place. She noticed the sudden change in my attitude and followed me and asked me what’s wrong. I said nothing, continue what you were doing. I was so angry when she tried to grasp my hands I shook it off and walked away. My mind was saying if there was a BGM now this scene would have been a hit. 

That very moment I decided, I am going to let all my feelings out. I thought I would write a short book about her and to let her know my true feelings. I made a three day schedule and wanted to complete the book before the vacation. Also i switched off my phone so i don’t talk with her, until i finish what i started. 

And by Monday I finished the book and I named it “My Happiness”. The contents of the book were how I met her, when I fell in love with her, the things that made change, and the last when I decided to propose to her. At the last page I said, I am really happy with you Senpai, but when some other boy gets closer to you I feel jealous. And Jealousy comes when you love someone.

This was my last line “please go out with me”.

Then I mailed the copy to her. I asked her to decide, I also mentioned even if you decide not to talk to me anymore. I shall gladly accept your answer… Till the vacation ended  I didn’t contact her. Later at college we crossed paths, but I avoided her fearing she would reply a “No”. I kept avoiding her for a week, because if she stops talking it will be really painful right now if i can’t talk with her at least i can look at her. That’s what I thought.

The next day we met again in the library, she blocked my path and asked me if we could talk. And she asked me to wait near the grounds during the lunch break. My heart beat was at Rampage, my fear kept growing yet I still went to see her. When I went she was standing with her girl best friend. 

She said the book i wrote for her was really awesome, until i heard that i didn’t even look at her face. After those words I had some confidence to look up. I didn’t even ask what the answer would be. We just continued talking for a while.

But that day something changed and we became closer, I could say because after that day we started talking by phone daily for hours just like lovers. But neither of us got our reply. So I waited for her reply, I gave her the space. Then finally it was the preparation for the annual day, and we got busy. I couldn’t talk with Senpai much, she was busy with her practices and I was busy with my work. And that was my first debut as an anchor too. So I had to practice like hell before getting on stage. She motivated me, so I wanted to give my best too.

And finally the big day arrived, I was up stage for the first time. I started by welcoming guests and all my dear friends(Students). Then I asked the guests and staff to light the lamp. Then I brought in the second anchor. We had a conversation about the performances and started inviting them. During Senpai’s dance my eyes wouldn’t stop staring at her. She was so damn beautiful. I thought I would call her and tell the details later. 

After the event my classmates and I went to a café to have something. One of my classmates stated he liked Senpai and asked me to give an intro. I got into a fight. So I was in a foul mood that evening. Later in the night she called me, she asked me how I performed? 

I replied “ya it was good” half heartedly. She asked me what happened, and I explained the details. She said don’t worry about these things. I said you can’t persuade me as a friend. 

She said okay i won’t!! But I can as your Girlfriend, I was shocked. What did you say? Repeat again… She said can’t do. I said okay let’s say it together. And that’s when both of us said “I love You” together. And we officially started dating. What a change of events. I was at cloud nine that day. I had no words to express how I felt that day, and I couldn’t even sleep. I wanted to see her. Finally the night passed and the day began.

I left for college early so that I could meet her. Since she is a hosteller, I used to watch her enter the corridors from the second floor. I watch her every day, I still can’t hide the fact that how pretty she is!!

I messaged her I want to see you, let’s meet at the last seat in the Library. We Barged into each other at the same time, neither of us could utter a single word after our eyes met. She kept blushing. And I was mesmerized in her beauty that no words came out. We silently moved into the library. I tried to start a conversation, she replied. And it was more or like a question and Answer session. 

After the classes, I talked to her by phone. There we were able to communicate without any hesitations. I asked what’s up you couldn’t talk to me in the library. Guess what she replied!!

She said after seeing your face I couldn’t say anything. You looked real handsome, until now I never realized you look good. I was embarrassed to look and reply. This is what she said meanwhile I felt as if an arrow passed through my body. I really wanted to Say “Love you” in the heat of that moment. 

I refrained from saying as it was the library and we didn’t want anyone to find out about the relationship except our close friends. Through the time passed things were getting restless as I started feeling we didn’t show any signs of a relationship. 

The other day I met her girl bestie and we were talking about the upcoming events. And she asked me how far have you gone with her? Have you both kissed. I kind of felt down, so as to what to reply. Then Senpai just came in and we changed the topic  instantly. Later she asked me what it was all about and asked what we were discussing. I said nothing important just about the next events.

She said don’t talk with other girls. I feel insecure. I said don’t worry dear i love only you.  She said those sweet words won’t work on me. I said okay dear what should i do to make my sweetie smile. She said take me on a date. I said haa okay. She said okay, no love you’s until you impress me on a date. I was wondering what kind of situation I got myself into. 

I have never done dates, so I started preparing for one. I decided to let this be a movie date. I called Senpai and informed her that this Sunday let’s go on a movie date. And I will escort you. 

She said okay pick me at 10 am. I said sure my lady. She said now you are more like a gentleman.

I was eagerly waiting for our first date and then finally after all the plans it was Sunday. At 8 am I wore neat clothes, and I started my journey at 9 am. I headed to college and waited for her arrival at the college gate. She was right on time. She was gorgeous, I stumbled for words and said you look cute. She said thanks with a blush. But covered up the emotion fast and said now you are flirting. 

I said what can i say, my girlfriend is pretty what more can i ask for. We left for our movie. As the movie began, I wanted to hold her hand. And I held it. We blushed and I felt her hand was so soft and she was warm. I thought to myself so this is what a girl’s hand feels like!?

After the movie we went for lunch to the Cafeteria area, i asked her what shall we have? She replied “Darling what do you prefer”?

I said how about Biryani or something, she said we always have that at home. Lets have some fast foods. Then we ordered spicy Chicken in KFC with Cola and French Fries. 

I said since you ordered the food, so let’s drink the cola as a couple. She said today you are acting more Romantic what’s up. I said nothing, it’s a special day. 

This is the only time we both are alone together, so i wanted to love you more. She kinda smiled. 

For making you jealous I kind of wanted to make it upto you so will you listen to me dear, she said okay. I held her Hands and said…

From now on, when anything good happens to me,

You’ll be the first to hear about it.

And if anything sad happens to you,

I’ll share in that sadness.

We’ll share with each other,

And support each other..

That’s the kind of couple I want us to be..

I swear, I won’t ever make you regret choosing me.

Senpai replied this looks more like a proposal, I said ya it is one. And I said I love you and kissed her. That was our first kiss. That day I won her back again. And we grew one step closer to each other. 

I told her let’s be together forever, she said let’s get married when the time is right. I was very happy that things were progressing smoothly between us. With our Love we cleared the hurdles in our path and completed our first love Anniversary. 

The time we spent together is the dearest to me. So I suggested to her an idea. Let’s save our memories somewhere like Gmail or somewhere in the cloud like the photos we take, the chats we like etc.

I created a Gmail account combining both our names and started saving our memories there. She said memories are okay, lets progress our relationship to the next stage. She said let’s meet our parents. I invited her to my home on Saturday and introduced her as my Girlfriend. 

My parents were shocked that I got a girlfriend. They said don’t joke. I said I am serious. That’s when I thought my parents thought I was useless in terms of getting a girlfriend. How unfortunate right?

They soon became close with Senpai… and asked her to take care of me. And all those ladies talk began. After lunch we played some games together. In the evening i said mom i will drop her n come. I asked Senpai what mom said. She said that it’s a S-E-C-R-E-T. Fine Fine don’t say. She said love you and we shared a kiss. I replied love you too. I said now it’s your turn, i want to meet your parents too.

She said they are in Canada, they will be coming back next week. I will give you a heads up.  I said okay dear. And said bye and left home.

Very soon that week passed and it was finally the time to meet her parents. But I started having some strange dreams. Like Senpai leaving me. Due to the very reason I was afraid to meet her parents. I asked her if everything is okay. She said ya dear everything is fine. 

Then she asked me a weird question, Dear what will you do if i forgot about you?

My heart stopped the very second i heard that, i asked what happened, did i do something wrong. Did something happen? She said no dear just asking.. I said if that’s the case I will make you fall in love with me once again. I hugged and Kissed her, don’t ever scare me like that. She said hey that was just a question. Suddenly she asked me if we could go somewhere for 3 days. Can you take leave? I said sure dear, but why did something happen. She said I want to spend more special time with you. I said sure. I started making the plans. My parents denied the idea as Semesters were nearing. I said just 3 days please. Finally after all the drama, they agreed. 

I borrowed my friend’s car and we planned to visit Ooty. I booked the rooms and we headed on our journey. She said will you love me forever, I replied “I will always love you my love” .

We spent amazing days together and each day felt special. Because we believed each of our presence is enough to make us feel happy. 

At the end of the trip she hugged and kissed me and said Love you too. I replied the same. For some reason tears started rolling up for me. I didn’t know why. She consoled me as if nothing happened.

I drove her back home, and reached my home safely as well. My parents asked me to start studying for exams as they were appearing soon. I said ya i will from tomorrow.

The next day, i returned the car to my friend, he said did you have a good time?” I replied thanks man, ya it was good. Thank you.

I wanted to see Senpai, so i went to her class, but couldn’t find her there. I called her bestie and asked the details. She said that she took TC didn’t you know. Due to the shock I fainted. The moment I woke up, tears started rolling up that I couldn’t stay in class. I wanted to meet her. I went to the college gate, to go out. They asked me you needed permission. I said please allow me it’s urgent. 

I was down in tears pleading to allow me out. My friends managed to help me out. I drove to her house. Her parents said, am sorry she doesn’t want to meet you. I said please allow me to talk to her. I want to know why she didn’t tell me anything. Her parents were also not replying anything and they kept asking me to leave. I stayed outside her house for 2 days without moving an inch. They kept asking me to go home, she won’t see you. I said please with tears. 

They said okay come in, and go talk to her. I rushed in.. I knocked on her room and said am coming in. I sat beside her. I asked her please tell me what happened, let’s talk it out please. Please don’t leave the pain is killing me, I am on the verge of tears. I said please. 

She smiled and said, dear you know I have a bug in my head and am heading back to Canada for a surgery. The doctors said if Surgery is Successful i will lose my memories. I broke down, I asked her when did you know. She said 3 days before. I said why didn’t you let me know. She said you were really happy with me and she wanted that happiness to be there forever. I said what is the point of happiness if you left me. 

She asked me dear, it’s okay. You are the reason I was able to feel all my first’s. And I am so happy that I met you, and fell in love with you. I couldn’t control my tears. She hugged and kissed me. She asked me one last thing. If I never returned back please forget me. I replied instantly, please don’t ask me to do that. I will Love you until my last breath. 

And that was the last conversation we had. And that was also the last day I smiled. I didn’t attend college for 3 months and the semesters were just ahead of time. My parents couldn’t console me . I locked myself in my room. I became silent, I was going down in the path of depression. That was when I got the last message from her in our memory mail.

She said dear,

I know you are upset, am sorry

But you have a life,

Achieve something,

Wait for me ,

I am sure, 

I will love you even if I had no memories.

I decided that I will be a successful person and wait for her. I stepped out of the darkness. Moved to college, worked hard Cleared the semesters. Got into a good Job. Earned a respectable name in family and Society. And for my love life, I am waiting for her return. I am Sure she will come back to me.

No matter how long it takes “I Love You Senpai


Name : Imthiyaz A S

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12 Responses

  1. Vijaya Talluri

    Loved reading the article! So innocent and naive, yet so beautiful and heartwarming. Keep writing!

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